The Beauty of Uncertainty

So I’ve realized something…I used to be so afraid of change…I hated it, really. But now it seems I can’t get enough of it. Strange how that happens…you just kinda change without realizing it. What sparked this realization that I have changed? Well, I have recently been informed by my YWAM school leaders that we will now be spending Christmas at our outreach locations, which are, at this point, to be determined. Thailand? Haiti? Togo? Cambodia? Now in the past, I would have NEEDED to spend Christmas warm and cozy with my family at home by the fireplace. But these days? I like thinking that I will be away for Christmas…it definitely leaves me to imagine where I’ll be, how I will celebrate, and with whom. And not just Christmas but my 21st birthday too! Crazy.


All this uncertainty certainly leaves room for anxiety to brew, but I somehow am at peace. Where anxiety could be, I want trust to continue to fill. Trust in God my Savior. With all that I have experienced this past year, has my trust in Him really been developing this much? It probably has. And without me really realizing it.


And I wonder…will the Lord be using my sense of adventure, my wandering inner wildchild, for His greater purposes? I pray it is so. I believe He gives us desires for a reason. I think I will embrace this beauty I have realized. This beauty of uncertainty.